The Pain


The pain is so deep, so wide, so real, and so unforgiving.

“Say something, I’m giving up on you
And I am feeling so small.
It was over my head
I know nothing at all.

Say something, I’m giving up on you.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you.
Anywhere I would’ve followed you.
Say something, I’m giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride.
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye.”

Life has to go on.

But I just want to push the pause button. Be in this bed. Tears in my eyes, wondering why I can’t just make this right.

Or scream at the top of my lungs that I’m hurting, and everyone should feel so incredibly sorry for me.

Why God is allowing this incredible pain?

Gut wrenching, physical pain. Mentally and emotionally exhausting pain.

But as the moment passes a bit, I remember the necessity of the pain. Who can separate themselves from spouse of 5+ years and not feel that pain deep in their soul?

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3–5

I would give up anything just to fix it.

Some things were not meant to be fixed. They were meant to be experienced, felt, broken, and gotten over.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2

Lord I need your grace. I need your heavenly grace to make it to the end of today. To know you work all things for my good. For the good of my children. For the good of all the lives I can touch.

Help me fill up my empty. To heal these wounds. Give me the strength to begin again.

“When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It’s not our home

‘Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise”



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One thought on “The Pain

  1. Gede Prama says:

    Dear friend, Thank you very much, I was really happy to have been following your blog. I’m still a lot to figure out, and here I can only say that you are an awesome blogger, full Inspiring and hope you can inspire more readers. Thanks and greetings compassion from Gede Prama 🙂

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